As we all know, kids are crazy. Batshit, Lunatic insane with a dash of nuts. With no sense of self preservation, wild conspiracy theories on “What the Cat in the Hat” really knows and finding joy in the simple act of smearing yogurt all over my TV.
They love being told ‘No’. They don’t want a ‘Yes’, they want want to hear the song ‘N’ and ‘O’ sing so perfectly together. You can tell how wonderful it makes them feel by the tears of joy streaming down their face, the little dance they jig, with the final touch being an interpretive dance on the floor.
Kids love performing in public places, for friends, family and judgemental strangers.
Mud. Children of all shapes, sizes and ages love mud. Take my 2 for instance. I can tell how much they love mud by the way my son tries to smuggle some in his pants pocket, the big pocket of his little hoodie, some down his pants for good measure and if I bothered to look, I’m sure I would have found a pie his sister made under his hat.
They also love balls, for instance you might be walking through Kmart or Target and one of the little beasts spies a display full of brightly coloured, inflated, spherical fun, proceeding to take each one out and kick them in turn, leaving the parental units to look like incompetent fools, running around screaming, “Please dear God, take them now!’ But it gets worse….
While you’re somewhat distracted, repairing the destruction of the spawn, the other one would wander off, strip off various articles of clothing and return for you to have a clueless scavenger hunt after an exciting game of sports.
Once the limbed worm has been reunited with their discarded garments, you decide “Fuck it”, and leave to return another day with a better strategy.
Posted from somewhere amongst the tangled interwebs….