Emotionally and physically unavailable

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Pic from New Zealand a few yers ago

Since meeting her a few weeks ago at the bus stop, I haven’t even been interested in another woman. Quite literally. None appeal to me. She is the one for me. I don’t want another. I can’t even think of taking another to bed, the thought itself is a betrayal to both her and myself. I’m treating this in a committed fashion. I’m not looking. I’m not interested in anyone else and I couldn’t care less if I was your whole world. I’m sorry if that’s harsh but I like her. As intense as I am, I’m holding back. Something tells me if this girl takes flight, she won’t come back. I don’t want that. I want every aspect of her.

HOW IT ACTUALLY FEELS WITHOUT HER.

1. Kind of anxious all the time. My heart races, my chest constricts and I start to panic myself a little. I over-think things, I thoughtlessly write it out because it has to be said, or it’ll kill me. It’s natural to write.

2. Distracted and daydreaming. Every moment is one worth remembering. I’ve never laughed so hard with anyone else. She’s a brute, a delicate flower and a fierce warrior. She’s the court jester, a humble artist, and the stone queen.

3. Thinking about her laugh, smile, hair, small scars and huge heart. Wonder wrapped in sunshine. She makes my heart ache slightly when I think about her. Goosebumps and small smiles, accompanied by nervous giggles.

4. Scared Ill scare her away somehow. This is intense. She’s an awesome human and I love her friendship more than anything else. The way she accepts and challenges me. That is a fine quality for friend and companionship.

5. Lust and passion. Her skin is smooth, her tongue is sharp and her hands are soft. When I think about her in my arms, our legs entwined. My heart races, and an indescribable amount of want and a fiercely heated surge of protection flairs to life within me, I’ll be damned if anyone ever hurts this beautiful creature.

6. Need I say more?

Posted from amongst the tangled interwebs…

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Deb says:

    May this be the love many talk of?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wouldn’t say love, it’s too soon for such powerful words. But awe is one I would use. And stunned. Captivated and delighted. All would do her justice 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Deb says:

        Ah. Ok. 🙂

        Like

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