Homemade Weapons

Pea shooter.
“You know what would be deadly? Peas would be deadly”. I’m not sure how accurate this statement is, I think the biggest danger from pea shooters is if you get one down the air way and it sprouts into a plant (which isn’t as uncommon as you think, and very painful). But besides the risk of becoming a human pot plant, the only other risk is getting hit in the eye, easily countered by a pair of sunnies or safety glasses. Take that, vegetable onslaught. I hate vegetables, and you can read about that here.

Spud guns.
Personally my favourite homemade defensive artillery. Easy enough to make. Pvc pipe, a sealed end, gas propellant and ignition source. Now I’ve never been shot by one, nor would I want to but imagine a spud flying towards you at 200km an hour, if not faster. Now imagine if that spud hit you in the mouth, not exactly the best method of delivering nutrients to the system, but the best way to ward off unwanted visitors and the occasional mother-in-law.

Slingshot or Ging.
A childhood favourite of mine, and of course Bart Simpson. When we were growing up and we didn’t have anything better to do, we would make Gings. Now the thing about gings is, you need naturally forked and green wood, rubber band or jelly rubber and a small patch of leather. Usually stolen from an old couch or Mum’s favourite pair of shoes. I won’t give instructions on how to build any of this makeshift weaponry, but I will tell you of the power. And it’s incredible. Load the patch, pull back as far as you can (jelly rubber from a spear gun gives incredible force to the device, but is a little harder to get the pull you need), take aim and release. Be careful not to have your finger in the way, or… You’ll be sorry. Believe me.

Finally, glove guns.
These babies are a cross between a pea shooter and spud gun. A bit of tape, thumb from a durable rubber glove and narrow PVC pipe, about 30mm will do and you have the components to make a silent, accurate and potentially lethal backyard weapon to ping those loud mouth kids or the neighbours cat. I prefer a moving target, like 28s and crows. Once the glovey has been assembled, you need round, smoothe stones, or ball bearings if your a merciless prick like me. And now your ready to defend yourself against unwanted guests and again, the occasional mother in law

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