You see? The Problem Is You’re A Noob.

Online gaming. It’s more than just racist 9 e year old little shits, it’s a multicultural society of hate, profanity and obscurity, cast over a range of demographics, ages and genders. It’s a wonderful place to work on clever retorts and create new sayings, out of the fragmented insults and ever constant degradation by the players. It’s funny. It’s disheartening and most of all, it’s not as bad as it sounds. There is ludicrous, if not incomprehensible amounts of oral lunacy splattering chat channels, and some of it is fantastic.

I loved playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, online. I had a bunch of guys and dolls I played with. Every now and then some smart ass would try a taunt, usually resulting in a quick “Insult Assault”, both parties throwin’ acid coated wonders and grazing another’s pride and ego. Generally, it was a phat time. Sometimes the battles got intense, one party going too far and it turns into a clusterfuck. In these instances, I find muting the offending player the best option. The joy is, when you mute an individual in lobby chat, you can still hear other people and carry a conversation as normal, while silently giving the finger to the butt hurt nooblet. Good times.

A better incident is where I joined a random party with a kid called Grayson in New Zealand and his mates. Just hopping from lobby to lobby looking for a map I like (preferably: terminal, rust, afghan, the rainy one haha, I forget its name at times, ahhh, and most likely estate), and i come across these jokers. They’re a few years younger than myself at the time, Grayson and Landon were still in high school and Grayson was a cheeky git. We played a few hours together, had some good banter and became facebook friends after that. The net’s not complete shit for gaming and company.

So we know it’s not just belligerent wankers and sore losers. There’re tasteful and decent folk amongst the fools of my playground and another fine example is a player called NZkickboxer. His real name eludes me but the impression remains. He was bantering with his buddies in a lobby I was merged with and the best way to describe it is, It was like listening to a family of brothers giving lighthearted, yet mildly scorching serves of offence and insinuation. End quote.

It hit me as humorous. They were well delivered and never dropped into a region where anyone else would be directly offended. It wasn’t clean cut, but it wasn’t vulgar either. After a couple of games together, I joined in after getting a feel for what’s appropriate and made another couple of peeps who kept the field engaging, while firing rounds of digital and verbal ammo, into the bodies of their fallen enemies. Man, I miss playing online, cooling fools and tea-bagging cunts. That shit is a reward for taking on an automatic with a throwing knife and melee, and emerging victorious. The stuff kings are made of. Listen to me rant about my games again, you’re too kind people. Thank you.

I’ll sign off and do some stuff at a place with someone at some stage I think. Probably not tho. I’ll probably just sit here, watching cracked on youtube, reading cracked articles on and facebook, while alternating between having a cigarette, coffee, game, read, repeat. My evening is book solid by the sounds of things, mainly the voices in my head. Although I can’t promise I won’t have a stoke of Inspiration mayhap, another moment of nostalgia to base my Lunacy upon. Take care folks. Diddly


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