⚠ Extreme language warning ⚠
Well well well. Here we are again, spewing hate and acidic words coated in bile, bile dredged up from the pit of my stomache from listening to anything Kanye has made for a duration exceeding 10 seconds. The cunt’s just ‘Bleh’. How did he reach this level of fame? What drives and Inspires him? Let’s try and answer the former first, because the latter is “Himself”.
See what I did there? I answered the latter first because it furthers my story by using clever loops, something I think Kanye would be incapable of doing. First off. Wasn’t he a producer before he started putting his toneless tune to plastic and launching an already failed clothing line? That’s what I thought too… But anyway, skipping over his success behind the scenes, we shall dive into “Who does he actually appeal to?”
It’s come to my attention that Kanye fans don’t have a sense of style, they’re happy being led and clearly don’t recognise talent when they see it (feel free to comment) and they often confuse “Absolute Shit” with “Talented Artist”. I can forgive that, they’re Kanye fans after all… But what surprises me is the magnitude of fans, the definitive majority of listeners who couldn’t possibly relate to what he says (and I’ll use “says” because he clearly has no musical tone to his voice, it’s almost like listening to a dry fart).
You there, average Kanye fan. Are you stuck with a Gold Digger? Did you get trapped by a stripper? Are you exposed to the ghetto culture in any way? (Don’t confuse this statement as racism my dear panther enthusiasts, it truly is its own culture and to promote or aspire to anything this culture condones or promotes is retarded). Have you been asked “Please baby, no more parties in L.A? Objectifying and devaluing your fellow man. For shame Kanye. You’re looked to as a role model, your own mother even compared you to the exemplary Dr. Martin Luther King (dong). Jesus. What an honour and rare occurrence, one’s own mother dishing out undeserved praise like it was hot soup going cold. Maybe she should have swallowed, or had an abortion… Either one would have been a significantly greater pleasure to the world as opposed to being cursed by your watermelon head and fish lips.
Did you know you always look confused? It’s almost as if the only thing you understand is how great you are and you’re forever perplexed by how someone could disagree with you. Take it from me, you’re shit. Your music is shit. Your personality is shit. Remember that video he made with Kim and it was so stupendously bad, he claimed it was meant to be, that he was showing his gift as an artist? That might be tolerable of not plausible to the people who actively listen to your music and have to defend themselves to their friends for listening, but to the rest of us with our own minds, we know the truth. Yes, you are that bad.
You see ladies and gentlemen, I’m so far detached from the feeding frenzy of liquid bullshit that is “popular culture”, that I can still think for myself, form my own opinions and draw my own conclusions. It’s a curse really. It makes me an outsider, non relatable, but first and foremost (as clichéd as it may be), an individual. Go on, ask me who lady gaga is… “Who fucking cares” would be my response. Ask me if I care that David Bowie died (*Spoiler Alert*. I give more of a shit when I lose a sock in the dryer). No, I didn’t. Did I care when Alan Rickman passed? Fuck yes I did, the man was a talented actor and I would gladly trade Kanye for Alan if any higher power existed (*Spoiler Alert* It doesn’t, ask science. Real science. Bitch). You see ladies and germs, Kanye when put in comparison to the legendary Hilltop Hoods turns a sickly grey. Kanye when compared to the piss my dog expels, turns a sickly grey. Kanye when compared to a used tampon pulled freshly from the Pope’s runny asshole, turns a sickly grey. I think I may have driven my point home on that last one, I’m actually quite impressed by not only how clever and blasphemous it is, but how naturally it rolled off the tongue. Go on, say it out loud. See if you get a funny look.
Look, I love art. Music is art. But I wouldn’t buy a ‘Picasso’ that was forged by a student in a special needs program. I would actively look for an original work and treasure it. So why do people settle for poorly created art that’s promoted and owned by the massive companies trying to sell said “art”? Would you frame a letter you got from your prison pen pal or put it on the fridge? I wouldn’t. I’d steer clear of jailbirds. What Kanye does is criminal. He murders art, soaks it in its own entrails and juices, only for it to be doused in a multimillion dollar campaign to sell said “art”. It’s abhor. It’s disgusting. Kanye is quite possibly the worst thing to happen to the American people since their foundation. (I wrote an article on 9/11 and why it isn’t that bad. Yeah yeah yeah, take your opinion and shove it up your fucking ass, the world doesn’t revolve around America, not anymore. Soon it will be China running the world. Deal with it). Fuck Kanye, fuck your mainstream degenerate cultures and values, and most of all, fuck capitalism and her first world slaves and drones. Second world communism might be better, or the third world societies might have a better appreciation of life.
Let me sign off by thanking you if you made it this far. Second, feel free to comment your abuse and misunderstanding into the comments below while I pull my dick and keep on “Not giving a fuck” about it 🙂 Y’all could take a lesson from me, a whole fuckong class perhaps. I’m also accepting applications for full-time students in my course of “Farm’s 5 tips for sticking it to everyone, at the same time”. Can you tell I don’t like Kanye? Can you tell I don’t give a fuck in general? As in “I’m actively aware of what I’m doing, but fuck you anyway”