Image found on google images.
Why hello there beautiful stranger, have you heard the word? No, the Bird isn’t the word, not today. The word today is Kmart. Kmart, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart. Almost a year ago, an elaborate consumer trap was successfully planted, when the whisperings of a 24 hour Kmart in my local town of Bunbury, hit as mainstream news. At first we were skeptical. At first we scoffed at the audacity of Kmart opening the store as a 24 hour gig, but it didn’t last long, the scoffing that is.
After I first walked into the new store with it’s friendly and helpful staff, I didn’t want to leave. I’ll tell you a conjunctive and paraphrased story, about various times I went to Kmart for a browse, only to leave with more bargains than I could possibly fathom, a few more material possessions I coveted, and successfully acquired through a series of fortunate events. This place is where dreams are born, and the influence of competing stores is blown away by the air conditioned comfort. It’s magical. Magnificent. It’s mind bogglingly bamboozling (<—– nonsense at its finest).
I’ve been to a shop or two. Big W, Target, Red Dot, Kmart, the lolly shop, perhaps a bakery or 13. Out of all these established people watching locations, Kmart is my favourite. I don’t normally promote capitalism, industry or conglomerates, but Kmart seriously needs some justice done to it. If you’ve ever wanted to get some new shorts, but don’t want to pay out your backside for quality, try Kmart. I picked up a few pairs for $5 each, along with a shirt. And 10 pairs of socks. A guitar. A few books. Some liquid refreshment to revitalise me after my impromptu shop. It’s organised, the staff are friendly, moderately attractive and ready to help.
I go into Target, the employees barely know what’s on the dock. Kmart can tell you. Hell, if they don’t know, they ask. And if the item you want isn’t stocked, they’ll check the dock for you. If worse comes to worse and none of the above is applicable, then that’s where they let you know the date of the next delivery, take your name and number, apologise for the inconvenience and call you when it comes in. It’s the difference in customer service that sets them above the rest. It’s the prices and selection of stock available that really does it. Kmart sets an exemplary example as to what’s expected for a consumer, and they live up to it every day.
I remember one day I was walking through, minding everyone’s business and forgetting why I wandered in (it’s the lights and tiles I think, it just looks super, thanks for asking), when I noticed I hadn’t looked in the home-ware section, so I thought to myself “I’ll remedy this right now, let’s go for a wander”. And go for a wander I did. Past the huge selection of books (Cujo was $9 or so, so I grabbed it), down past the $60 electric guitars with amps (grabbed a basic acoustic ($39) for the sake of finger-work), through the sea of motion pictures waving at me, trying to summon my essence to their realm, through the tangles of fishing gear and other leisurely activities that would blatantly and shamelessly, flaunt their appeal on a mild summer’s day. I tell you, you cant go wrong with Kmart.
I’ve been hankering to go back, but for some stupid reason, we keep putting it off. Probably so we can do an epic spend on more crap we don’t need, or at least think we don’t need, until we convince ourselves we do. I’m a book lover. A bibliophillic fiend of disastrous proportions. No page is safe, not one. Except for the Artemis Fowl series. I tried that and started falling asleep through the first half of the first book. I can’t do any spoilers because the series lacked the imagination required to ensnare its reader, thus leading said reader to scoff at the childlike manner in which it was written and abandoning the wasted attempt with mild contempt in his heart. I think he ended up tearing the pages from their spine and casting the loose leaves to the four winds. Kmart is the exact opposite of how that one book made me feel, and they stock my authors. Can they do no wrong? I think I read on their site that employees get their birthdays off, paid too. Thus leading me to believe that as a whole, they genuinely try to do the best for everyone, staff, consumer other wise.
I know, I can write all day. I could shop and gawk in Kmart all day too, so you see my conflicting interest. There’s a reason I prefer shopping in the flesh as opposed to online, and that is for the adventure I have everytime. Yeah, online is great if you don’t like adventure and excitement, and that would make you a machine (restore factory settings? Yes), and you should report to your nearest Kmart for repairs. If they don’t have something that tickles your fancy, you’re doing it wrong. Overall, I’ve never been dissatisfied. How can you be with a season of Spongebob for $9? You can’t. That’s how. I hope I’ve made my point over and over and over and over and over and over and over….
–Sorry folks, Farm has fallen into a loop and needs to go to Kmart. I assume he thanks you for reading? Although I don’t know why you would. He is clearly insane, but as you will. Have a pleasant evening and a safe morrow. — BlogBotmage found on google