The Adventures Of Acid

My brilliance depicted
My brilliance depicted

Hmmm… I’m almost at a loss on what to write, so I’ll tell you another conjunction of stories and the ensuing shenanigans that accompany me in my wonderful decision making process. This short tale is about the joys of LSD, or acid.

I love acid. It’s my favourite substance to abuse on a twice yearly basis, and it never fails to satisfy my lust for an abstract reality. Man, I’ll tell you. Nothing comes close to eating a couple of tabs and seeing where the night goes, the loose grasp on reality and the difficulty it takes to produce coherent and relevant thought. It’s honestly my favourite way of getting fucked up, and it all takes place in a safe and secure environment. Allow me to divulge.

New years eve. Secluded location and good friends. Bon fire, drinks, drugs and good old fashioned fun. These are my primary ingredients for an amazing night. People say drugs rot the brain and inhibit memory, the following series of events will contradict that common myth and with this knowledge, you’ll be able to determine your friends are full of shit when they say “I honestly can’t remember”. So, let’s begin.

I’ve taken various substances as I’ve covered in an earlier post called ‘Self control and knowing your limits’, and as such please note I DON’T CONDONE TAKING DRUGS. Although if you decide to, make sure you’re in a safe and comfortable environment with people you know and trust. Don’t take acid and go for a walk to town, you’ll end up far from where you want to be and you probably won’t care.

About 6 years ago our tradition began when we would celebrate the new year with our friends and leave our kids with nan and ‘Lumpy’ for a few days, giving us time to unwind and blow off a substantial amount of steam. We would head to Treendale or Australind at a good friends place, buy our vices in bulk and resell to our guests at the soirée. It was primarily a way of getting fucked while making money and enjoying good company.

So to begin, I would have a half a tab, just to test the waters and see how intense it was. If the intensity was less than I was expecting, then I would have another full one. They taste like shit. They turn to máché in your mouth and when it kicks in, your mouth starts secreting a strong copper/iron taste and turning your teeth into obstacles for a tongue that refuses to operate on a functional level. It’s a good time. I like it. (I can’t feel my face when I drop 2, but I love it)

After the acid starts to fuck with your perception, you can actively start to intensify and manipulate the effects at will. Imagination is key. One time we were playing guitar hero, smoking and tripping balls and I decided I needed to do something a little less demanding on my wandering attention, so I sat back and stared at the curtains.

After a few seconds, the patterns started to swirl and mesh, blend and split. The next thought I had was ‘how cool would it be…’ And before I had finished my thought, an image of a lion appeared in the light cream fabric and started cleaning itself. As I stared, the lion shrunk, split into a man and woman having what appeared to be coital contact before merging again back Into the lion. It was incredible. I started laughing and declaring how fucking crazy it is that a man is the same as a lion, and how they both have manes of fury. It was garbage to anyone else, but to me it made perfect sense.

Another thing I noticed about acid, is it increased my perception of how others were feeling. I’ve watched friends start to go off the deep end, and all it takes to bring them back, is a new train of thought. “Trev, you ok? You should probably be thinking about how your laces managed to make themselves at home in your shoes. That’s the real question”. “Holy shit, that is the most pressing matter I can think of, are you ok?” Yeah man, I’m all gravy baby, share a blunt?” “Amen brother”.

So we went outside. The sky was clear, the stars were bright and the fence was my urinal. It was cool, quiet and I could hear the madness screaming in my own skull. I was loving it, da da, da da da. Fuck you McDonald’s. I looked up at the stars. And they were diamonds. As I stared, a single beam of light went from one star, to another. That beam split and hit another handful of stars and before I knew it, the stars were an elaborate spiders web spreading across the canvas of night, the strands gleaming as brightly as their heavenly counterparts.

I turned to my buddy, my face full of wonder and my dick in my hand and asked him ‘if he could see what I see’. “What? Your dick?” “What? Oh shit, nah not that. The stars man, the stars, all connected by razor thin light. It’s beautiful” “I think you’re on drugs Fool, I think I am too” “Fucking word baby”. And we were. Big time. I’m pretty sure I called Levi at that stage to tell him about my discovery of light connecting every star in the sky, he told me “I think you’re high, save me some”. I couldn’t make that promise, I’m greedy with my narcotics and enjoy fighting sanity. As you’re about to discover…

Another such occasion was we were in the theatre room sharing a pip and my attention was caught by the reflection of the projector hitting the screen. I was mesmerised, entranced. As I gazed Into the glass, the colours from the screen broke off from the reflective side and morphed Into three brightly coloured dragonflies sitting on a twig. The longer I looked, the more solid the apparitions appeared, eventually gaining a voice of their own and filling my ears with a deafening chirp, much the same you would hear coming from long grass, on a hot summer’s day. I mean deafening. I turned to my mate and shouted “Can you fucking hear those cunts? They’re screaming at me”. Trev looked stunned, perplexed would be a better word. I had a brief moment of clarity and enough composure to explain what I had envisioned. Mar didn’t look any less perplexed either way.

That’s just the tip, I promise. Stay tuned for more retellings of past experiences 🙂 Thanks for reading folks, it’s been a pleasure as always 🙂 Farm out.

Sourced from cracked.com
Sourced from cracked.com
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