The REAL Outcome of Batman Vs Superman…

We all know Bruce Wayne is a violent sociopath who takes pleasure from dressing in a latex body suit, whilst beating up petty criminals, all while trying to come to terms with the loss of his parents, and the eventual realisation how it doesn’t really make him special. Not one iota. Now its my belief that this, is why he is so violent and loves flying rats. He’s a traumatised child who never received any counselling after the fact, and he was treated as an adult, and trusted with adult responsibilities, like managing Wayne(ker) Enterprises. Any 9yr old who is forced through these things without the proper guidance and therapy would turn into a crazed serial killer who sees himself as justified. He should have got the chair a long time ago. He’s no better than his brother, The Joker (read the comics).

 

Now enter our main man Clark Kent. Just your average Daily Planet Junior Reporter. A modest man of wholesome looks and square ideals, but we know he’s not any ordinary bloke though, is he? Hes an alien, whose molecular structure is different to yours and mine, better even. In fact, he’s a Kryptonian (kryp). If you’re behind on the times because your like Bruce Wayne, a retard, then you should know Kryppies are basically Demi-Gods. Immortal and Godlike beings in human form. So on one hand you have a measly human with very powerful psychological and violent delusions, who’s justification for his actions is “I’m an orphan, and I’ve never sought help for my psycholigical problems. Im a Bat. IM a BAT!!!’. And on the other hand you have a genuine superhuman, who can fly/shoot lasers out of his cock and is essentially immortal.

 

Im not a physicist or bio-engineer, but I’m pretty sure Superman would win in this fight. lets do a quick Supes Checklist.

 

IMMORTAL
CAN FLY
SHOOTS LASERS FROM DICK
NATURALLY RESISTANT TO HUMANS
BALLS OF STEEL
CAN PUNCH THROUGH SOLID STEEL (WITHOUT A MECHANISED fAPsuIT)
CAN WALK ON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.
CAN KICK YOUR HEAD INTO ITS OWN MOUTH

 

 

Let’s compare FapMan (batman)

 

SQUASHY SACK OF HUMAN MEAT.
MENTALLY UNSTABLE/ANIMISTIC DISASSOCIATION ORDER
CAN’T FLY (ALTHOUGH A BAT CAN)
WEARS A GAY RUBBER SUIT
DICK DOESN’T SHOOT LASERS
COULDN’T DONKEY PUNCH DICK GRAYSON EVEN IF HE TRIED.
HUMAN.
PATHETIC IN MOLECULAR STRUCTURE AND ABILITIES AS OPPOSED TO SUPERMAN
BRUCE WAYNE (FUCKING MORONS NAME)

 

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. dumcheese says:

    Funny how the producers
    of BvS think differently lol
    *Batman nearly murders Superman, is stopped by Supes saying Marrrrrrrthaa*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LJ Farm says:

      Superman could do a ‘Big bang Super Kamehameha’ all over Batman’s face.

      Like

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